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Exchanged Glory: A Vision of Freedom
<page 11>I know from experience that a person deeply bound by sexual sins can become free indeed.
Freedom – once a sex addict[6] decides to fight his or her addiction, there is little they long for more, but freedom doesn’t come easily. After fighting for it, many conclude it can’t really be found. It seems that something has gone wrong in their hearts that can’t be reversed. The best they can hope for is to do the right actions while their inner feelings intensely gnaw at them to return to their old ways.
I probably would have concluded the same in my struggle with sexual addiction, except I believed Jesus when He said:
And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free …Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
A life of outward obedience while my emotions dug their heels in and refused to come along didn’t seem like abundant life to me. As I read the Bible, I concluded I should trust God for something more, something Jesus called “free indeed.”
I first thought about writing this book when I was in my early twenties, over twenty years ago. I had spent my teen years gripped by sexual desires that threatened to destroy my life. They were “stubborn sexual sins” in the sense that they didn’t yield to the normal disciplines of the Christian life – praying, reading the Bible, being part of a church, and trying to obey God. I grew up in the 1970’s, at a time when sexual addiction was rarely talked about and support groups for those involved were nonexistent. I found few people who could shed light on my struggles. At the age of twenty-two, after eight years in which it seemed that God had ignored my cries, I lost my will to resist. I gave in to a number of sins, and started to get ready for the possibility that I might never change.
In a dramatic turnaround that took about five months, I found myself suddenly able to control my actions and resist temptation. I was excited to enter adulthood with the possibility of a <page 12>normal life, and I expected the difficult temptations I faced to fade after a few weeks or months. They didn’t. Still, I was optimistic and knew there must be answers. When I found them, I hoped to write about them.
I remembered that as a teenager, God’s view of sex seemed difficult to understand. It appeared to be unrealistic to me and tough to obey. I was told to flee temptation, but as you will find out when I give the details of my struggle, fleeing wasn’t really an option for me.
I was like a man driving a car who didn’t know how to use a steering wheel or foot pedals. My sex life was a mystery to me. Why was it out of control? Why was I attracted to abnormal activities? I didn’t know, and no one seemed to be able to tell me. Like a car driver who didn’t understand how to drive, I raced through life with a full tank of gas, crashing into obstacles I didn’t understand.
That’s why I wanted to write a book. I wanted to help others to find the answers that had eluded me and, in many ways, were still hidden from me.
Eventually, however, my hope began to waver. The painful temptations that I expected to fade quickly after I found self-control lasted for over twenty years. Though they were good years in which God helped me to obey and gave me many gifts, I couldn’t find anything that would penetrate into the part of me that wanted to pursue sexual sins.
The long struggle took its toll. By the time I was forty, I just hoped to hang on until I died. There were many blessings in my life, but they hadn’t produced what I would call free indeed.
I no longer wanted to write a book. I had learned many scriptural insights, but the bottom line of all of them was, “Follow Jesus and suffer more than you ever imagined a loving God would require.” I didn’t want to write that, and I doubted anyone would want to read it. Until I could tell people from experience that there was a promised land at the end of the arduous journey, I felt I had little to share.
When I was forty-three, I came down with a disease that threatened to greatly hurt my sex life. At that time, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me, saying that God had been working in my life for years to prepare me to minister to people with sexual problems. He intended to use everything from my early difficulties to my current trouble as part of His plan. He also wanted me to write a book (which actually has turned into a series of books, this being the first).
It amused me to think that I might actually write the book I had thought about so long ago, but I still didn’t feel I had anything people would be interested in reading. Who would want to read about someone who had failed miserably for eight years and then succeeded through much suffering for the next twenty, only to have everything he had fought for threatened by a disease?
Along with this, I was no longer sure I wanted to talk about my sexual struggles. When I was young, I didn’t know how some Christians reacted when they heard that someone has had this kind of problem. As I grew older, I found that many “freaked out” and didn’t know how to deal with it. At the age of forty-three, I was a fairly successful husband, father, and businessman who hesitated when faced with the risk of losing my reputation.
I had learned, however, to trust and obey God, so I told Him I would do whatever He wanted. Still, it seemed to me that He needed to bring some big changes in my life before I would be ready.
<page 13>Over the next few years, He made those changes. He has brought me to the freedom I longed for, one that reaches beyond just my actions and into my deepest emotions. I believe that He also has given me the ability to describe the path He took me on to bring me to it.
When I was struggling with sexual sins, I wanted to hear someone say from experience that they were once bound by abnormal sexual desires and now were free. I never heard it. My only hope came from the word of God. The experience of most people was, “Once an addict, always an addict.” It seemed to be my experience also and, as the years went by, it was hard to hang on to faith for something better.
I now can say to others what I wished I had heard myself: I know from experience that a person deeply bound by sexual sins can become free indeed.
I am praying that this book and the others in the Exchanged Glory Series will guide and encourage those who are bound by the dark world of sexual sin. Jesus is the only One who can bring us to freedom, and I believe these books will help people to find Him and His plan for their lives.
I also pray that the books will help many to understand the spiritual atmosphere we live in today. The plague of sexual problems our society is facing is happening for a reason; we must recognize and address that reason. If we know what is going on, we will be better equipped to overcome it with God’s power and wisdom.
The road to freedom was full of surprises for me. I learned that it had elements that I never expected. In fact, I sometimes believed they were opposed to freedom.
Recovering addicts should expect surprises. We often think we know the answers when we don’t, which is part of the reason we repeatedly try the same faulty solutions. We are stuck in a cycle of false beliefs, so we should anticipate being caught off guard by the truth.
When you come across something in these books that surprises or scares you, please stay with me. Test my words to see if they agree with the Bible. I understand that you will be doubtful, but let the word of God ease your doubts and show you the truth that makes you free.
May God bless you as you read, and may you find the freedom you desire for yourself, your spouse, your children, and your friends.
Bill Cadden
2005
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