Chapter Two. Naïve

Exchanged Glory V: God Meant it for Good

Joseph had awakened that day on a planet that seemed safe, and he went to sleep on a planet full of menacing dangers. All of the beliefs he had taken for granted now had to be redefined…

Pearls and Swine

In order to understand what Joseph felt as he was dragged into slavery, we need to consider what the Bible tells us about his personality.

Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he was the child of his old age. And he made him an elaborately embroidered coat. When his brothers realized that their father loved him more than them, they grew to hate him — they wouldn't even speak to him.

(Genesis 37:3-4, The Message)

Joseph was Jacob’s favorite son (the name Israel refers to Jacob, Joseph’s father). Although the reason listed is that he was born when Jacob was old, it is safe to say that there was more to it than that. After all, Joseph had a younger brother, Benjamin, and Benjamin wasn’t the favorite. Joseph’s character obviously played a part in his father’s affection.

Joseph was no doubt cooperative and eager to please. We see him showing these characteristics as he reported some of his brothers for their misbehavior (Genesis 37:2), submitted as a slave (Genesis 39:1-6), and made the most of his experience as a prisoner (Genesis 39:20-23). He stood out in contrast to his brothers, who were deceptive (Genesis 37:31-32) and envious (Genesis 37:11). Some of them were violent (Genesis 34:25, 37:18-24), and at least one was given to sexual sins (Genesis 35:22, Genesis 38:15-16). It seems clear that Joseph was viewed as the “good child” of the family.

It was, of course, a mistake for Jacob to treat one son as special above his brothers. A father should love all of his children unconditionally, and Jacob’s favoritism backfired by inciting the bad character of his other sons. In addition, it paved the way for Joseph to stay naïve. He felt that his father’s approval would keep him safe, so he wasn’t as cautious with his brothers as he needed to be. For example, he carelessly assumed he could share a dream with them which clearly showed that Joseph would rule over them.

Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said, "Listen to this dream I had. We were all out in the field gathering bundles of wheat. All of a sudden my bundle stood straight up and your bundles circled around it and bowed down to mine."

His brothers said, "So! You're going to rule us? You're going to boss us around?" And they hated him more than ever because of his dreams and the way he talked.

(Genesis 37:5-8, The Message)

When people hate you so much that they won’t speak peaceably with you (Genesis 37:4), it is a bad idea to share a dream with them which tells them they are going to bow down to you. Jesus warned us not to cast pearls before swine “lest they trample them under their feet and turn and <page 23>tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6). Joseph cast a pearl (his dream) before his brothers, and the result was exactly what Jesus predicted. They turned and tore him to pieces by selling him into slavery.

Bewilderment

It is difficult for a teenage young man (Joseph was seventeen) to handle success without acting as if he is above others. Joseph had his elaborately embroidered coat and his father’s praise. He would have needed the character of an aged saint to have not come across with an “I am better than you” attitude. His brothers obviously thought he lacked the required humility; they hated even “the way he talked” (Genesis 37:8).

I believe that Joseph was so intent on being the “good child” that he failed to grasp the reality of how to live in a world with children who act badly. He served God in sincerity, but he wasn’t as “wise as a serpent” (Matthew 10:16). This caused him to underestimate the reality of sin in human hearts.

I suspect that he expected to win his brothers over by his example – “If I show them how it should be done, they will be so impressed by God’s work in my life that they will imitate me.” It was hard for him to comprehend how evil hates a good example.

You can imagine the shock that grabbed Joseph’s heart when he was betrayed. He had trusted God to keep him safe (according to his own expectations). He probably even expected his bothers to do what the dream had said – to bow down to him. Picture his bewilderment as he realized that his bold and simple faith had instead led to betrayal and slavery. He was likely shaken to the core of his being by the apparent evidence that God had failed him.

I doubt Joseph’s first reaction was to say to himself, “God means this for good.” Instead, he was likely overwhelmed. How could his correct choices have led to so much trouble? He had tried to be a shining example against the peer pressure of his brothers. Where was the help God was supposed to give? The good child was not supposed to suffer like this!

For a naïve person, an act of treachery is more than a difficulty; the naïve person’s entire view of the world is threatened. Joseph had awakened that day on a planet that seemed safe, and he went to sleep on a planet full of menacing dangers. All of the beliefs he had taken for granted now had to be redefined: God’s love, his father’s ability to care for him, the nature of man….

It was as if he had been transferred to a different dimension. The earth was not the tame and orderly place he had imagined. He had to relearn all that he thought he knew to make sense of his new experiences.

Fun Emotions and Self-Control

Like Joseph, I was naïve. I thought that if I just did my best, everything would work out smoothly. I felt safe in being compliant and careful. The following figures show how I had lived most of my life.

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I obeyed my parents because I loved them and wanted to enjoy life. This is shown by the arrow from the Fun Emotions and Desires box to the Obedient Behavior and Attitudes box. My parents were reasonable in their discipline, so I was generally happy to live by their rules. I enjoyed being in my family, playing with friends, entertaining myself, exploring the world, following rules, and working with people. Pleasing others, for the most part, pleased me.

This is shown by the Pleasure feedback arrow toward my emotions. Obedient Behavior and Attitudes usually felt good, which reinforced my desire to continue in that direction.

This wasn’t always the case, however. When I had to deny my Fun Emotions and Desires in order to do what was right, I experienced Pain (symbolized by the Pain feedback arrow). For example, I was no fan of schoolwork. There was little in my Fun Emotions and Desires that motivated me to study and work hard. So in order to help me deal with the boredom of forced learning, my parents and teachers taught me Knowledge about life (symbolized by the arrow labeled Knowledge). They told me that my ability to enjoy myself in the future would depend, in part, on my education. This motivated me to use Self-Control to resist my impulses to avoid schoolwork (the arrow from the Self-Control box to the Obedient Behavior and Attitudes box).

All of this helped me to find the perseverance to endure the Pain of studying. And over time the Pain generally lessoned, which helped me to once again find Pleasure in Obedient Behavior and Attitudes.

Fear and Guilt

Sometimes, life wasn’t as easy as what is symbolized by Figure 2. It contained threats I needed to avoid. Many of them were built into the world, like the danger I felt when I was near an angry dog. Others were built into my family, like the danger I felt when I knew my parents might discipline me. There were also dangers in society. For example, I was afraid to be ridiculed by my peers. All of these Fears helped motivate me to act with care and consideration, which was usually a form of Obedient Behaviors and Attitudes (Figure 3).

I should also mention the fear of the Lord. I believed in a God who would judge my actions. I wasn’t a Christian, but I knew in my heart that I wasn’t on this planet by accident. I was expected to treat others well, and there would be some sort of punishment if I didn’t work at this. This brought a feeling that functions much like Fear: Guilt, and it also motivated me to be obedient.

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When I speak of Fear in the Emotion Commotion Chart, I am referring to all of the different flavors of feelings we associate with Fear. It covers everything from caution to anxiety to terror to panic. In the same way when I speak of Guilt, I am referring to all of the different feelings we associate with Guilt, everything from conviction to regret to condemnation to shame.

These emotions are represented by the highlighted portion of Figure 3. The Perception of Danger arrow shows my realization that my world contained threats that could hurt me. The arrow from the Fear and/or Guilt box to the Obedient Behavior and Attitudes box shows that, for the most part, Fear and Guilt motivated me to do what was right. Once again, my obedience produced both Pleasure and Pain, but mostly Pleasure.

Anger

Sometimes, in spite of my best efforts, I was unsuccessful in avoiding my Fears. For example, though I was afraid to lose when I competed in sports, I often did. This caused a Pain that pushed me past Fear and/or Guilt to another intense emotion, Anger. This is symbolized by the highlighted portion of Figure 4. (As with Fear and Guilt, I use Anger in the Emotion Commotion Chart to cover all of the emotions we associate with Anger, everything from annoyance to fury to rage to wrath.)

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The Frustrations of life made me Angry (symbolized by the Frustration arrow to the Anger box). Though I tended to view this feeling as a negative emotion, it wasn’t always negative. I sometimes found ways to channel it toward Obedient Behavior and Attitudes.

Anger fueled a powerful energy that helped me to rearrange my priorities, dig in, and persevere. For example, when it came to sports, my dissatisfaction with losing inspired me to work hard to become a better athlete. I dedicated myself to learning how to win. As long as I stayed within the rules of the game and remained considerate of others, this produced positive changes. At first, it increased my Pain (because I didn’t like being Frustrated; it would have been easier to give up). But as I persevered, it produced the Pleasure of learning valuable lessons for life while winning some games.

This brings me to an important observation about the Emotion Commotion Chart. When emotions like Fear, Guilt, Anger, and Sorrow produce Pain within us, they can indirectly become a source of Pleasure by leading us toward Obedient Behavior and Attitudes. The discomfort they bring can fuel an inner drive to gain greater wisdom, which relieves us of our Perception of Danger, Frustration, and Long-Term Suffering.

The process by which this happens is all part of growing into maturity, and the end is that after we have embraced hard work, our life tends to become better, which allows us to once again return to living out of Fun Emotions and Desires. For the most part, this was my experience when I was young.

Sorrow

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When our Anger fails to change our circumstances, either because the circumstances are beyond our control or we have failed to grow in wisdom, our Long-Term Suffering tends to lead to Sorrow (the Long-Term Suffering arrow between the Anger box and the Sorrow box in Figure 5).

As with Anger, this doesn’t have to be a totally negative experience. Sorrow can be a powerful motivation to embrace wise living (the arrow from the Sorrow box to the Obedient Behavior and Attitudes box.) It can inspire us to sow into the future so that we reap better results than we have in the past. As with Fear, Guilt, and Anger, I use Sorrow in the Emotion Commotion Chart to describe a broad range of emotions from disappointment to sadness to depression to despondency.

My Heart

Figure 5 is a picture of my heart before the incident with my parents concerning smoking. I usually tried to do what was right according to the definitions of my family and society. I was able to turn many of my pain-related emotions in the right direction.

I don’t mean by this that I was not a sinner under the control of a depraved sinful nature. I was separated from God, so Figure 5 could easily have included all sorts of arrows to the Sinful Behavior and Attitudes side of the Emotion Commotion Chart. Even my Obedient Behavior and Attitudes were motivated by sinful motivations.

If I were to add all these arrows to every figure in this book, however, it would unnecessarily confuse the figures. I will instead keep them as simple as possible to focus only on specific aspects of my heart. In this case, God’s common grace kept me from living as sinfully as I could have, and I was able to make a number of good decisions as a child. Like Joseph, however, I naively believed that this was all that life would require of me. The next chapter describes how that belief failed me.

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