Exchanged Glory IV: A Time for Every Purpose

Preface

So am I still crazy? Maybe, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be.

This is my favorite book in the Exchanged Glory Series. It is also the one that I am the most hesitant to publish. It’s not a “1-2-3, do this and you’re free” sort of book. It is instead a story of human weakness, long term pain, and the God who brings healing to the darkest parts of our hearts.

I will openly share about my frustration and resentment. Christianity didn’t seem to be working for me, and I wasn’t happy about it. My words will no doubt bring up some questions, and I think it is best to anticipate these and offer some quick answers before I get started.

Does the author believe that every person recovering from sexual abnormalities and/or addiction will go through the difficulties he describes in this book?

Fortunately, no. I am sharing experiences that followed mistakes I had made many years before the events of this book. Others may not have made the same mistakes, and even if they have, this book will hopefully help them to find God’s solutions more easily.

I made my mistakes at a time when there was little knowledge available about addictive sexual sins. My inability to find anyone who could tell me what was happening left me with the fear that it was just me and Jesus against a mysterious monster that defied Christian experience. I felt like a freak who didn’t fit into the faith and had to somehow survive in whatever way I could.

Times have changed. There are now books, articles, support groups, counselors, and ministries specifically aimed to help people with problems like mine. These gifts from God should enable others to find answers more quickly than I did.
Is the author of this book crazy? Is it just a matter of time before his next near-breakdown?

For most of my life I have felt somewhat crazy, but I feel much less so now. I think of it this way: As a teenager I faced a manageable yet difficult case of both mental illness (confused thoughts) and emotional illness (confused feelings). The first three books of this series describe how God brought me past a good deal of the mental illness. The last two books describe how He did a similar work with the emotional illness.

I could have avoided my “feelings of craziness” for years by living in denial, limiting my responsibilities, and medicating myself. I am from a long line of people who have done that, and it comes quite naturally to me. Instead, I chose to follow Jesus at a young age, and that forced my instability into the open.

The stress of devotion to God, family, work, church, and society was more than I could handle, especially without the coping mechanisms of sex and drugs. This brought my craziness to the surface, but Jesus met me at each step along the way and showed me how to keep moving forward. The book you are reading tells about a time when He did this in a dramatic way.

I feel much saner now. I am no longer desperately searching for what was missing. My heart is no longer wondering if the next negative turn in my circumstances will knock me off my feet. Life basically works. So am I still crazy? Maybe, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be.
Why would anyone write a book that makes the Christian life sound so difficult?
This is a question that concerns me. What if my book causes someone to think that following Jesus is too hard? They might give up. In the final analysis, however, I believe that the Christian life is extremely difficult for some of us. We feel out of place at church – as if we have been disqualified from God’s grace for some reason. We try to walk the walk and talk the talk, but we are haunted by ghosts we don’t believe a real Christian should face.

I have known and heard about people with all sorts of tough problems (homosexuality, sadomasochism, various forms of depression, forbidden fetishes, deep confusion, addictions of various types …). I have lost too many friends, acquaintances, and respected leaders to these sorts of bondages. How can I withhold what I have learned, even if it touches just one of them? The stresses that come from feeling that God isn’t giving you the answers you need can be overwhelming. I want to do my part to ease those stresses.

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