Exchanged Glory IV: A Time for Every Purpose

The Exchanged Glory Series

Version 3 – 2020

In the year 2000, after twenty years of successfully fighting to control unusual sexual desires, I found the emotional strain of the long battle to be increasingly overwhelming. The inner conflict was destabilizing me, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep going. At that time, God began an incredible process of healing that has continued for more than twenty years. It has transformed my experience of Him, my sexuality, and all of life.

In 2003, I began to record what was happening in The Exchanged Glory Series. I first wrote three books to describe the lessons from my past that had set the stage for the current time of healing (Exchanged Glory: A Vision of Freedom, Exchanged Glory II: The OK Stronghold, and Exchanged Glory III: Wise as Serpents). Then I wrote Exchanged Glory IV: A Time for Every Purpose to journal my way through what I was currently experiencing. I hoped that putting my emotions into words would help both others and myself.

While I was writing Exchanged Glory IV: A Time for Every Purpose, I discovered www.masteringlife.org, a site about sexual healing created by Dr. David Kyle Foster. I read and listened to just about everything on it. I also read Dr. Foster’s book, Sexual Healing.^[1] His words combined with my journaling to birth a new vision in my heart, a sort of a roadmap for the journey ahead. I worked out this new vision in Exchanged Glory V: God Meant It for Good, and I have been following it ever since.

When I finished writing Exchanged Glory V: God Meant It for Good in 2012, I wasn’t sure what to do with the books. I had no significant public ministry, and God didn’t seem to be leading me to start one. So I continued to do what I was already doing; I shared the books with friends and with people I met on the internet.

I was surprised to find that talking about sexual sin, even when it was done as part of a testimony of God’s overcoming grace, made many Christians quite uncomfortable. This concerned me, because the church in the western world is facing a crisis of sexuality, and if we can’t talk about the problems, how can we find God’s solutions? I spent several years exploring why this subject was so difficult for Christians, and in 2016 I sensed the Holy Spirit give me insight. I wrote what I was seeing in a sixth book: One Flesh: What does it Mean?.

One Flesh: What does it Mean? was written to be a standalone book that you can read apart from the other books. It not only contains a shorter version of many of the truths in the other books, it also tries to address the subject of sexual sin in a way that will make readers feel comfortable. By contrast, the books of The Exchanged Glory Series were written to explore the subject of sexual sin in more detail. They were my handbooks for my own struggle, and I used them to lay out the many insights I needed for my own healing.

After finishing The Exchanged Glory Series, God continued to open my heart to more clearly understand my issues. When one friend read my story, he asked, “Have you ever been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder?” I didn’t know what Borderline Personality Disorder was, but I started to read about it. I eventually realized I had at last found a description of the unnamed mental and emotional problems I had mentioned many times in The Exchanged Glory Series. <page 4>Though I don’t believe I ever had enough symptoms for a full-blown Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis, it seems clear that I have at least some of the genetic part of that disorder: a tendency toward emotional dysregulation.

In short, my emotions tend to react more quickly, more intensely, and more lastingly than most people’s, and this led to a number of common Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms in my childhood: self-punishment (cutting),^[2] addiction,^[3] sexual issues,^[4] …. It has taken me decades of hard work with God’s help to piece together long-term answers to those sorts of issues.

Another symptom of emotional dysregulation was that choosing to avoid sexual sin, by itself, was not enough to give me lasting peace. Parts of my emotions refused to play along. They became offended and hurt, forming personality fragments that warred against one another.^[5] Sexual desires and anger teamed up to oppose discipline and wisdom. Creativity rebelled against responsibility. A traumatized inner childlikeness cried out for attention. I was able to keep my actions healthy, but the inner battle felt as if it was tearing me apart.

The five books of The Exchanged Glory Series are the story of how God saved me from this insanity. He taught me how to embrace all of my emotions, even my seemingly dark ones. I discovered why He had made them and how to bring them together. He brought peace to my turmoil as He showed me their purpose and healed my heart.

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