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Body, Soul and Spirit
Chapter 8: Christian Fellowship
The Purpose of Fellowship
A personal relationship with the Lord Jesus is always our first priority. However, the purpose of God for our life cannot be accomplished apart from our relationship to one another, a relationship that is based on a common sharing of the life of Christ. This horizontal dimension of salvation has been neglected and underdeveloped in traditional Christianity. Fellowship is the process of building friendship, trust and an accountable commitment between believers so each one can function and grow in his unique place in the body of Christ. It is hindered by jealousy, pride, competition, gossip, tradition, or any other divisive attitude that separates believers. The tradition that divided Christians into two classes–clergy and laity–is one such example. This interpersonal, dependent relationship between believers is described in the scriptures as “joints and ligaments” in order to help us understand the Lord’s body from the operation of our own bodies. It is not what I or my brother can do individually that is important, but how we glorify God by working together as one.
… holding fast to the head, from whom the entire body, being supplied and held together by the joints and ligaments, grows with a growth which is from God.
… we are to grow up in all aspects into Him … from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies … causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
The Process of Fellowship
Figure 12 illustrates the three modes by which we relate to other people. Relationship can be on the basis of physical likeness, such as age, sex, race, etc. Relationship may also be on the basis of a common understanding; that is, unity in knowledge or how something is perceived or defined in our minds. This is the realm where agreement is made on doctrine. Unity on “a least common denominator of belief” is the thrust of ecumenism. When people relate on the basis of what is common among them, and this commonality is limited to the body or soul realms, such groups are cultural and social in nature; they do not constitute a valid church.
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The church is based on koinonia which is fellowship (or communion) in the spirit realm. This only exists when participants are united by the Holy Spirit with Christ. He is the one and only basis of fellowship. When we are individually united with Him in fellowship, we are offered fellowship with all others who are in a similar union with Christ. This defines the body of Christ.
What we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, that you also may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ.
God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree, and there be no divisions among you ….
Soulish bonds of relationship tend to be rigid and inflexible. In contrast, spiritual fellowship of mature believers provides an elastic fabric of organic life where an acceptance of one another covers the various personality traits and other differences. How well we walk together marks our maturity in the Spirit.
We are participants in an everlasting covenant with the Lord. This covenant is not just mental assent to certain creeds. We, and all we possess, belong to Christ; and we, in turn, have an inheritance in Him and the glory of His kingdom. Just as Abraham did not hold back Isaac, and God did not hold back His Son, so we cannot hold back anything. It is more than, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ”; it requires commitment of our total lives to Him. Fellowship is the experiential walking out of our faith in a family covenant relationship with other believers in Christ. Christians require no other covenant. All agreements and commitments to one another should be based on the new covenant of His blood.
If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in Spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
There are two levels of fellowship. First, faith in Christ leads us to a brother/sister relationship with all believers. There is a spontaneous response in our hearts whenever we meet a child of God; whomever the Lord has accepted, we must also accept in fellowship. We are one family in Christ.
The second level of fellowship is deeper and is a function of geography. We become committed to a local church, and within that immediate family, we become more deeply related to a smaller number of believers. Stronger bonds of fellowship are built here, for in the informal atmosphere of small meetings, personal idiosyncrasies and facades that each of us have will become apparent and can be healed. We learn to be honest with those who love us, and to develop intimate friendships. A spirit of trust develops, and we become comfortable in being open to others about the less lovely areas of our personal lives. If we don’t become honest with one another, we will not be honest with God. It is an atmosphere where each believer can find and fulfill their place of service.
In time, a willingness to be vulnerable and open to correction becomes an important commitment in the covenant we have embraced. This covenant is more than sharing material things; it becomes the sharing of our total lives.
The boards used to construct the tabernacle walls were made from trees of gnarled wood (Exodus 26). Each board, which measured fifteen feet by twenty-seven inches, required a great deal of cutting and trimming so it would form a perfectly true and straight wall. It is the same with us, our human nature is hard, set in its way, twisted from the influence of sin and from going our own way. There is a special place in the wall for which each of us is trimmed and fitted, so that the body of Christ may be complete. Therefore, we must know the boards that are next to us; those whom God would relate us to and build us together with. This redemptive work of building relationships is the process that takes place in fellowship.
This process has a threefold result in the hearts of participants.
Members become fitted together (Ephesians 4:16). This requires the “sandpapering” and “trimming away” of undesirable character traits, something that does not take place overnight.
Members are held together (Ephesians 4:16; Colossians 2:19). This flows out of the trust and commitment that is built between hearts in the love of God.
Members are supplied (Colossians 2:19). Once trust and acceptance are established between hearts, there will be an openness to receive the supply of life in ministry from one another.
The ministry gifts, described in chapters 12 and 14 of Paul’s first epistle to Corinth, will only be fruitful if they are undergirded by the love of God, described in chapter 13, which is the proper relationship in which to give and receive ministry. Thus, fellowship in the love of God is the environment for ministry in the body of Christ.
Building Fellowship
Those who lay foundations for new churches, who oversee assemblies and equip the saints, must know how to build so as to develop the qualities of spiritual fellowship. This requires recognizing the importance of small groups. Interpersonal relationships where “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” will not occur in large central meetings. The interaction necessary to develop character and build bonds of covenant requires fellowship structures of small groups. To be effective these must be under proper oversight of men who are committed to the headship of Christ.
The place to begin is simply learning to accept one another just as Christ has received us.
Wherefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
No assembly can be a fully functioning body until every member appreciates his need for all others, and in addition, recognizes the value of his own unique ministry and contribution. Each of us is called to fill a special place in the body of Christ. In our walk with the Lord, each of us wear a pair of custom-made shoes that will fit no one else!
If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body.... But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body just as He desired .... And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”
(1 Corinthians 12:15-16, 18, 21)
How does one go about building such virtues in a house church? A primary object lesson should come from observing those who are overseers, if they are leaders who serve, who do not drive or dominate others, but who set an example in humility. When leaders are mutually submitted to one another in sharing the responsibility of oversight, their humility is a demonstration to the saints of how they are to serve each other. Humility and submission will absorb the sharpness of criticism and complaints. Leaders require much grace and gentleness, especially when there is ignorance and opposition (2 Timothy 2:24-25). God saw that the meekness of Moses would enable him to become a great leader.
A biblical way to evangelize and grow the church is through the planting of house churches. After a number of house churches have been established in a locality, joint, central gatherings should not replace or hinder the role of house fellowships. The following are some practical objectives that help ensure the health and success of home meetings:
The primary purpose of the home is to be an informal outreach for Christ in that neighborhood.
Any teaching should be simple, always pointing people to Christ. Meetings should not be miniature versions of the large gatherings.
The members should consist of a cross section of family and assembly life. There should not be home meetings for singles, for sisters, for the elderly, etc. The integration of each dimension of family life is required to build a strong church. Each believer should be encouraged to share.
A home church should be allowed to develop any unique flow of life which the Lord brings forth in that group. Just as we are different as individuals, so also there will be diversity in the cell groups in how they desire to express the Lord’s life in the community. Individual groups may have a different ministry emphasis, such as hospital visitation, street evangelism, intercessory prayer, music, outreach to the poor, etc.
No cliques should be allowed to form. Competitiveness or exclusivity in hearts must be guarded against.
Social, recreational and secular activities should be encouraged. Some examples are: eating together, helping others, meeting personal needs (such as repairing a car, painting a house, caring for children, sharing material things, etc.) camp-outs, retreats, joint ventures in growing food, etc. Such activities are not only good outreach opportunities, but they also help build strong spiritual relationships; the common denominator in each case is sharing the life of Christ.
Home churches lose their effectiveness when they become too large in size. Dividing, when a second suitable home and leadership is available, is how the church can grow.
The centrality of Christ is the emphasis of all ministry. Thus, two important components in each meeting format are prayer and worship. When these are missing, there is loss of vision and the meeting can become simply a social gathering.
A key ministry objective in meetings is to encourage one another in our growth and walk in Christ (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Those won to Christ are to be baptized and taught how to share their faith with others. Small groups are where new believers can begin to exercise spiritual gifts. It is much easier to begin such ministry in an informal environment. It is a good place to practice.
There can be good reasons why a participant, or family, may want to change home groups. However, it should not be for the reason of running from a problem. Victory comes when we learn to embrace our problems where we are. The conflicts that do arise, often serve to develop hearts of peacemakers in others, especially the leaders. Therefore, times of stress are a normal part of the growth process.
Finally, it must be made clear to participants the importance of building character and relationship. A valid, lasting strength in spiritual relationships between believers is the work of the Holy Spirit. It is character derived from the fruits of the Spirit, not from agreement on doctrine, that bonds us together in the body of Christ. The virtues related to unity in the following verses make this abundantly clear.
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
The character virtues in these verses define the quality of spiritual fellowship. Thus:
If we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
Hatred, gossip, strife and backbiting, if not dealt with promptly, can destroy fellowship and fracture a church.
The Sacrament of Fellowship
Is not the cup of blessing which we bless a sharing in the blood of Christ? Is not the bread which we break a sharing in the body of Christ? Since there is one bread, we who are many are one body; for we all partake of one bread.
Communion is the sacrament which expresses and proclaims the covenant we have embraced with Christ. This we are to celebrate frequently. It is not like baptism which is a one-time experience.
Each communion service is a proclamation of the covenant for it points us back to the death of the Lord Jesus. As we share together in His body, which was broken for us, we reaffirm our commitment to be one spiritual body united in Him. To participate requires that we first reexamine the integrity of our own heart. If we are deficient in any way (such as possessing animosity toward a brother, or if unrepented sin exists in our life, etc.), these things must first be dealt with before we eat and drink.
If we do not discern the body of Christ correctly, that is, if we fail to see the importance of our relationship to others, and we eat and drink without making things right, we can sin to the point of death. However, if we truly discern the Lord’s body, we will not cause division nor introduce the leaven of sin. For this reason, examining ourselves is a mandatory and vital part of communion. Once we grasp the importance of communion in fellowship and covenant life, it will be much more real to us. Communion may be celebrated in the family circle, in the home church, as well as in the assembly since each one of these settings is an expression of covenant life.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, coming down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard, coming down upon the edge of his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon, coming down upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing–life forever.
Fellowship expresses the unity of our common life in Christ; ministry is the dynamics of sharing that life.
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